Elon Musk is reportedly on the cusp of becoming a trillionaire and Jimmy Kimmel isn’t sure Musk is the right guy to be making that kind of cash.
“Tomorrow SpaceX will reportedly launch the biggest IPO in history,” Kimmel said, explaining that means the company will start being publicly traded. “And once SpaceX does that Elon Musk is expected to become the first ever trillionaire in the history of the world. And what makes that even more unsettling is this man, our first trillionaire, the richest man in the world, is also one of the weirdest people we’ve ever seen on this planet.”
He added, “This obscenely wealthy weirdo has the ability and means to blow up the moon if he chooses. And also to put a lot of other people’s money in his pockets.”
The host noted that because the SpaceX stocks will so highly valued a lot of 401Ks will automatically invest, which “could be very risky for retirement accounts because SpaceX doesn’t make money.” “It lost $5 billion last year,” he said.
Kimmel added that Musk himself told people they don’t need to save for retirement because the robots he sells will provide everything they need. “Basically, this maneuver could make Elon a trillionaire and your parents Walmart greeters,” Kimmel said. “Wasn’t he supposed to be going to Mars? Can’t we help chip in to speed that up?”
He acknowledged that it’s hard for our brains to “conceptualize” one trillion dollars. “We know a trillion is a number, but it’s so large,” Kimmel said. “We can’t fathom it. The same way we know Elon has a lot of kids, but we can’t fathom him getting laid.”
He explained that “with that kind of money Elon could buy every NFL team and he’d still have $773 billion left. Which he could use to buy all 30 major league baseball teams, every NBA team, every Wendy’s, every Target store, the Beatles entire music catalogue. He could buy Nike, Macy’s, and every Hyundai Elantra ever produced. And would still have $260 billion leftover.”
Kimmel concluded that Musk, who came to the U.S. from South Africa and doesn’t pay his share of income tax, “sure seems like an immigrant who has been stealing from us.”