Divorced Mom Managed Graduation and Other End-of-Year Events From Afar

This school year, I wasn’t with my kids the first and last weeks of school, and that was hard on me

As a divorced mom, I split time with my kids 50/50 with my ex. It’s been tricky to juggle all the special occasions while alternating weeks with my kids, especially because it means these moments don’t always fall during the weeks the kids spend with me.

Because of this, I’ve worked extra hard to plan and prep, to make sure my kids experience these special moments the way I think they should.

I dedicated time to prep

This year, my daughter was graduating from elementary school, and my son was graduating from middle school. There were so many events and activities happening during the last week of school that it felt overwhelming at times. So, I planned ahead.

A few weeks before the end of school, when my kids were with me, I shopped for graduation outfits, ran errands, signed forms, and did everything else that needed to be done amid the end-of-year chaos. I also had to adjust my work schedule so I could be there for my kids and get everything done.

I kept my kids looped in

I wanted my daughter to know what to expect in the last week of school, even though I wouldn’t be there in person to talk about it. I took a screenshot of the events list from the school newsletter and texted it to her. I did the same for my son’s finals schedule — just in case he needed it.

The last week of school was a doozy. My son had finals every single day, and my daughter had more events than I could easily keep track of. “Tomorrow, remember your white shirt for the color run,” I said on a goodnight phone call with her. “Good luck on your math and science finals. You’ll do great,” I told my son.

It was exhausting keeping up with everything from a distance, but I was happy to do it for them — and my own peace of mind.

There are more and more events at the end of the school year

I don’t remember the end of elementary school and middle school being such a big deal when I was a kid in the 90s in New York. Apparently, it is now, and where we live in Texas, it’s kind of over-the-top if you ask me.

Some of the activities during the weeklong fifth-grade celebration included a car parade, a color run, a party at our local trampoline park, a clap-out, and, of course, the actual graduation ceremony. The week before all of that was the annual talent show, market day, and some extra school-wide spirit days, so there was plenty to shop and prep for.

Meanwhile, my son was busy with his last middle school soccer game and his own spirit days, too. It was a lot to keep up with.

I wanted my kids to look and feel their best

Before the last week of school, while my kids were with me, I focused on their graduation outfits. My son got a few new shirts, so he had options when he was getting ready, a new pair of shoes (thanks to my mom for the gift card that helped fund those), and I made an appointment for him to get a haircut.

For graduation day, my daughter wanted to wear a white dress, so we went shopping at a chic boutique so she could pick out something new. Holding her shopping bags, it sank in that I wouldn’t be with her when she got ready the morning of her graduation, and that was hard for me to stomach.

At home, I showed her my favorite pearl necklace and earrings. She said she wanted to wear them on her special day, so I showed her how to clasp the necklace on since I wouldn’t be with her.

It all came together

When I saw my son walk into the middle school gym in the graduation procession, he looked so handsome and ready for high school. I was flooded with memories of him in the stroller, playing soccer as a toddler in the park, and racing Hot Wheels cars. I smiled at him and waved probably too much, but I hoped he could see how proud I was of him.

At my daughter’s graduation, she looked so beautiful and grown up in her dress. I noticed she didn’t wear the necklace or the earrings we had planned out, and a part of me wondered if it was because I wasn’t there to help while she got ready. Maybe she just changed her mind. I’m not going to ask her to explain her reasoning to me. The most important thing, though, was that she was full of smiles, and I was proud of everything we had overcome to get to this moment.

This time in their life is full of so many new beginnings, and I’m happy to do what I can to support them, whether it’s my week or not.